Captain Save A Ho, At Your Service.
The audacity of people never ceases to amaze me. How do I get roped up with the ones without a modicum of respect or decency? Oh, I know why, because I'm a Mother Theresa fucking MORON. I have a sign on me that says "Please, piss all over me, but if you get into trouble, don't hesitate to call me!" I've come to realize that there are two kinds of people in the world: Those that love you, and those that love to take you for granted. Unfortunately, I most often get stuck with the latter, and instead of setting them on fire and laughing while they fry, I invite them to dinner. It's literally like having Satan as your buddy; you know it’s wrong, you hide it from everyone, and just as you predicted, he gets you to do things that seem cool at the time and you end up hating yourself for it later and praying to God to save you from him because you don't have the power to say no to him. Fortunately for me, and for God, (He's a busy guy) all it took this time