A Taste of Flaco

Flaco: (FLAH-ko) n., adj. Spanish slang for "skinny".  See also: Ms. Jaded's Weakness

Ah, Flaco.  Allow me to give you some backstory:

  Flaco*, who is a real person and not just a conglomeration of many, nor a figment of my very vivid imagination, is a longtime friend of mine. (tho I suppose it's a loose interpretation of "friend", but I digress)  When I met him through my neighbor back in 2005, I was knocked nearly breathless with his sexy, dimpled grin.  The instant I met him, I sized him up: I saw this very well groomed, charming, charismatic, muscled up, confident guy who was so fine he made me sweat. (He's a carpenter, y'all..mmm)  Immediately I deduced that this guy must have a stable of chicks in the cut, one for every day (and night) of the week.  He had to be a typical playboy, running around busting up hearts left and right, with women just sweating him.  He must have a babymama, and the drama that goes with it.  Most importantly, he is NOT the type of guy I want to get tangled up with, even though he drew me in like a moth to a burning flame..NO! Shake it off girl, that one is dangerous. The pretty ones always are...

I realized waaay later that not only were all my assumptions unfair, but completely flawed.  Beyond flawed, they were fabrications of a crazy bitch lol.  

  Before I met and got serious with The Ex, Flaco and I went out on a few dates, which in itself, jazzed the shit out of me; I never thought I would have a chance in Hell of getting a guy like that to even talk to me. It was awkward, the first time especially- My insecurities ran wild, making me a nervous wreck, and my suspicious side was always on alert, waiting for the inevitable moment that our (mostly) innocent date turned into a one night stand, and me being just another spot on the sheets.  The more we hung out, the easier it got, but the ill at ease feelings never completely disappeared during those few dates.  I feel bad about it now-and stupid-but hindsight is always 20/20.

The big turning point came after I had been with The Ex for nearly a year. (I should have cut my losses then--I'm getting ahead of myself.)

My grandfather took a bad turn healthwise, and I was destroyed over it.  The night I found out, I was home alone-the kids were gone, The Ex was out with the guys. I had no human contact or comfort when I needed it the most. I called and called, trying to get him to come home, and only got hung up on or ignored altogether. (He ended up being gone for 3 days..again, I digress)  Enter Flaco, and the beginning of his impeccable timing.  He just happened to text me out of the blue-I hadn't heard from him in a couple of months-and I told him what happened.  20 minutes later, he was knocking on my door, his sleeping son draped over his shoulder. Mind you, this was sometime around 2am.  He stayed with me the whole night, letting me cry on his shoulder.  I never forgot that, and I totally changed my perspective of him from then on.  

That was the start of him being 'that guy'--if I had a fight with The Ex and just needed company, he was there. When The Ex and I finally called it, he was there. It's kind of bizarre actually, his timing. It's like he had some innate sense or something.  Still, despite all this, I never considered him relationship material-I always thought he was sort of off limits...out of my league. Yeah, we had messed around a bit before, but I never imagined that he would go for someone like me-not in that way. Plus, I was hung up on The Ex, and the blinders were on in full force.  It was hard to see anyone else in 'that way' when I was saturated with devotion for the guy who didn't deserve it.

  Flaco was never the guy I expected him to be.  He's humble and honest, protective, caring and respectful, and has a heart the size of Texas. If I need him, he's there in a blink.  When he wants to see me, he comes over-it doesn't matter if it's snowing or that he lives 45 minutes away or that he has to be at work at 6am. He makes it happen.  He makes the effort. It's refreshing to see that from a guy- no bullshit, just business.  I should have given him more credit then-I should have realized that a guy with 4 sisters was bound to be at least a little better than how I first painted him to be.  

  We've been spending some time together lately, and my whole frame of mind is starting to shift.  I can't say what it is, exactly, but I know that when he was here last, I didn't have anymore of those ill feelings, no insecurities, nothing.  I felt confident and amazing and my face hurt from smiling so much. When he looked at me, I didn't feel insecure, I felt like a bombshell.  It was...nice.  Very nice, in fact.  I was able to just focus on enjoying his company (and I diiiid). We have plans again tomorrow, so I guess I'm not boycotting Valentines Day afterall :)

My lesson in all of this rambling?  Never be afraid to give someone a twice-over, and don't sell yourself short.  That person you never gave a shot to?  Think about why.  That guy you thought was out of your league?  Maybe he thinks you're a perfect fit. Don't judge a book by it's cover, and don't allow yourself to be judged by yours.  Be open to possibilities, because you'll never know what lies behind an door if you're afraid to push it open.

*Flaco is real, the name is not, so trolling Facebook for a glimpse at my Adonis will do you no good ;)